Parents often talk about the relief of sending kids and teens back to the classroom: They’re back on a schedule, applying themselves to academics and extracurriculars, more easily able to socialize, and out of parents’ hair, to some degree.

But this time of year may bring dread to kids and teens. Even if they’ve had previously successful back-to-school experiences, they may be facing this new year with anxieties about their environment, their social group, and changes they’ve mentally and physically gone through since last August.

Through these steps, you can help them transition back to the classroom a bit smoother.

1. Prep them.  

Parents and guardians have likely heard of the need to help students get back on a regular sleep schedule and have a nourishing breakfast before school starts. But it’s also a good idea talk about the upcoming changes like being in a new class, having a new schedule or being in a new school building so they can normalize the change before the first day.

You can also normalize discussions about mental health and recommend how they can share big feelings. 

2. Accept an adjustment period.

Just like adults, kids and teens may just have “off” days, days when they’re in a foul mood or need some alone time. And that’s OK. Parents and caregivers can give them some grace and some space if they’re feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated in the first week or two after school resumes.

Behavior often communicates a need. That means that kids and teens likely lack the communication skills and self-awareness to recognize when they’re struggling with mental health issues and don’t know how or don’t feel safe enough to ask for help.

Just remember in those first few weeks that they’re not being difficult, angry or angsty just to vex you. They’re adjusting.

3. Give them the tools to success, including positive thinking.

Kids and teens can do hard things. And as parents, we must let them or they won’t know their own strength. That doesn’t mean you can’t support them if they’re struggling, just don’t attempt to fully shield them.

Remind them that they’re strong and ask them what they think their other strengths are — doing this will make them more likely to believe in themselves than if adults label character traits as strengths. Research shows that positive self-talk can have benefits to both mental and physical health. You can also talk about coping mechanisms that may help if they’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, like breathing exercises, asking a friend for help and journaling to help track anxiety triggers.

If you consistently see warning signs, ask to talk to your student without judgment. Say something like, “I’ve noticed this change. Do you want to talk about it?”

4. Monitor changes and have an open dialogue.

Even if you prepare your kids and role play how to ask for help, it’s still important to watch for these warning signs that your child or teen may be experiencing mental health struggles.

  • Irritable more often
  • Seem excessively fearful or worried
  • Complain about frequent stomachaches or headaches with no known medical cause
  • Can’t sit still unless they have at least some small movement, such as fidgeting fingers or wiggling feet
  • Sleep too much or too little or have frequent nightmares
  • Do not play with other children or have difficulty making friends
  • Shut down emotionally in crowds
  • Lack of interest in people, activities or hobbies they used to enjoy
  • Have extreme changes in appetite, sleep and activity levels
  • Isolate and avoid family and friends
  • Significant mood changes
  • Diet or exercise excessively or feel out of control related to their body
  • Smoke, drink, or use drugs, alcohol or other substances
  • Talk about or otherwise indicate thoughts or actions of self-harm or suicide
  • Academic or social struggles

5. Use your resources.

If a child or teen in your life is struggling with their mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Trained experts like school counselors and mental health professionals want students and families to succeed. In order to succeed academically and socially, they must ensure good mental health.

 Reach out at EllipsisIowa.org.